Supporting employees through pregnancy loss: community and benefits-based solutions

Miscarriage and pregnancy loss are difficult topics to discuss in the workplace, steeped with feelings of anguish, shame, and uncertainty. Although miscarriage in the first trimester occurs in about 10 to 15 percent of known pregnancies and in approximately 20% of all pregnancies, it’s rarely talked about in society at-large. People who experience miscarriage are at higher risk for anxiety and depression, and one study found that four in ten women reported symptoms of PTSD three months after pregnancy loss. 

The anguish of losing a pregnancy cannot be understated—and returning to work, when colleagues and coworkers anticipate joy and celebration, can be emotionally crushing. Here’s what you need to know about supporting your employees through the tragedy of pregnancy loss.

How does pregnancy loss impact mental and physical health?

Pregnancy loss can be extremely traumatic, whether it’s classified as a miscarriage or a stillbirth. It can significantly impact the mental and physical wellness of a family. Physically, women experience bleeding and cramps that can last up to two weeks, and it can take up to six weeks for their menstrual cycle to return to normal.

Psychologically, however, the symptoms can last much longer. According to a 2015 study, “nearly 20% of women who experience a miscarriage become symptomatic for depression and/or anxiety; in a majority of those affected, symptoms persist for 1 to 3 years, impacting quality of life and subsequent pregnancies.” Depression and anxiety can affect physical health, fertility, and interpersonal relationships, and can manifest in different ways throughout the grieving process.

“For loss like a miscarriage, oftentimes people don’t know that there was a pregnancy to lose,” says Sarah Gugluizza, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Maven provider specializing in grief counseling and pregnancy loss. “They’re often grieving their loss in silence while having to go about day-to-day tasks and responsibilities. It becomes a secret weight the woman has to bear as she goes through physical, hormonal, and emotional changes.”

Stigma creates barriers to seeking help

The stigma of pregnancy loss plays a large role in the way women and families grieve and cope. Traditionally, pregnancy isn’t publicly announced until after the second trimester begins一or after 12 weeks一meaning that if loss occurs before then, many pregnant people and their partners likely haven’t told friends, family, or coworkers they were expecting. On the other hand, people who experience stillbirths have to address the reality of expectations held by friends, family, and coworkers.To put it simply, there are few if any socially acceptable ways to mourn the loss. These losses are difficult to discuss, and are rarely adequately addressed or acknowledged in social settings, whether among family, friends, or at work. 

Social support is crucial during the grieving process, and due to the nature of miscarriage, women are often deprived of the empathy and understanding they need to cope effectively. If an employee hasn’t told anyone about their pregnancy, it becomes that much harder to tell their support system that they’ve lost it, too. Likewise, if the people she told were expecting good news, it can be extraordinarily difficult—and triggering—to share the reality with them.

The impact on partners

Partners can also struggle coping with pregnancy loss, too. Gendered expectations, as well as a lack of institutional support, can create a confused and distressed emotional state “to the extent that such males might feel it necessary to deny their own feelings of grief in a double-bind situation.” The reality is that the grieving process for an unborn child is innately complex: parents grieve the dreams and the possibilities of the future of which they were deprived as much as they grieve the loss itself. And although they never had the chance to meet or learn about their child, parents experience a complicated mix of grief, anger, jealousy, and even relief.

Additionally, partners may feel the additional burden of supporting their grieving pregnant partner. “Many partners have the additional stress or confusion related to wanting to help and support their partner and make sure they are protected and taken care of as they go through this difficult thing that they don't always acknowledge their own emotions,” says Gugluizza.